THE ENDING YEAR.....

I am looking back at the year which is almost ending. The months, the days and the moments which are gone. I have been alone but in touch with my essence which is my soul. I focused on my intentions at every given moment of time and that helped me face my fears and learn from them.

My life events in the past year have enabled me to stay in touch with people, to learn from them and to develop a strong sense of recognition and discernment in everything that I do. Although the connection has mainly been through social media and within a virtual world but the mutual impacts are undeniable.

At the very early stages of my life I already learned that everything that happens to us is meant to educate us in amazing ways, and due to that understanding, my world kept expanding and I started to see myself standing among millions of people from all over the world who were just like me. The thought of oneness brings tears of joy to my eyes and a sense of freedom from the "me" bringing back the RUMI's words of wisdom to my mind:

Be a melting snow,
wash yourself from yourself.

A white flower
grows in the quietness.
Let your tongue
become that flower.

As time has passed I have become more eager to better understand and study myself in thinking, feeling and acting. I know that self-knowledge has no end and I have been using my life as a vehicle to learn to live in harmony and appreciation of the wholeness of life.

The tranquility is gradually setting in, something that I know is not of the mind only but it is an active transformation within me. I have become more conscious of the activity of "me" especially when I am upset, impatient, feel bored or depressed. Could this "me" be forced out? I have learned to deal with it by getting help from the creativity within me but without clinging to the outcomes or getting addicted to the applause or the rewards.

I move forward by focusing on my intentions instead of worrying about the outcomes. I face my fears by being patient and unattached to my expectations and by being creative and innovative. I navigate though the difficulties of life without giving up my goals allowing for authentic transformation and empowerment.

STRESS OR DISTRESS? SEVEN BEST WAYS TO COPE!

Stress is simply resisting what is, and the resistance can produce exhaustion, high blood pressure, visual difficulties, headaches and more. If it goes above certain levels, we can become prone to diseases. 

Experts believe that stress is a “non-specific response of the body to a demand”. The body responds to stress by going through the stages of alarm, resistance, and exhaustion. Psychologists and spiritual teachers believe that resistance is the operation of ego which prevents letting go of holding on to ourselves. The result is obsession with an issue and continuous suffering.

According to the International Critical Incident Stress Foundation, stress is followed by physical, cognitive, emotional, and behavioral reactions. The reactions can be acute, chronic, or delayed but no two people are likely to experience the exact same combination of reactions to any given stressors. When stress becomes prolonged or frustrating it becomes a distress. Distress is always followed by acute physical or mental suffering.

Stress is with us all the time and it is unique and personal to each of us. It is so personal, in fact, that what may be relaxing to one person may be stressful to another. The American Institute of Stress has an inventory of stressful life events which is worth checking it out and using it for yourself or others accordingly. http://www.stress.org/holmes-rahe-stress-inventory/

There are 43 items on the above mentioned scale with different point values. The life event with the highest point value of one hundred is the death of spouse. The event with the lowest point value of eleven is minor violations of the law. You can add up all the points you have within the past 12-18 months in order to find your stress score. The scores are interpreted based on the available guidelines in the stress scale document.

The steps to deal with stress are as follows:

1. Explore and expose your stress by asking yourself what is it that I am resisting? What is it that is not working for me?
2. Acknowledge your stress and retreat with acceptance. Don’t try to be right rather than being objective and considerate of the existing facts.
3. Dissociate from the problem by taking a break and doing something different.
4. Make it easier for yourself by not staying alone and by sharing your concerns with close friends.
5. Deal with your stress by decreasing the load of your work and by making time for some relaxation, reflection, walking meditation and similar activities.
6. Discipline yourself, cry if you need to, and avoid self-medication.
7. Ask yourself why am I in this situation, what am I learning? Your answer to this question is the key to your healing.

#dealingwithstress, #stressinventory, #distress

http://www.stress.org/holmes-rahe-stress-inventory/

THIS STORY MAKES YOU SMILE!

Hassan Al Basra a notable theologian and scholar (642-728 C.E.) was asked by one of his followers to talk about his teachers. He said - I have had many teachers but three in particular gave me the most valuable lessons of my life:

The first lesson I learned was from a thief. One night I got lost and I had left my house key with my neighbor. I didn't want to wake him so I asked for help from a by stander and he opened the door to my house in a split second. I was surprised and I asked him to teach me how he did that, he confessed that he was a thief. I was baffled but to show him my appreciation I invited him in. He stayed with me for a month but he left the house every night and returned in the morning. Every time I asked him if he got anything he would say – no but hopefully tomorrow! He seemed to be content and he never complained. What I learned from him was patience, persistence and hope.

The second lesson I learned was from a dog. One day I was thirsty and I tried to drink water from a river close by. A dog that was seemingly thirsty joined me but every time he tried to drink he was frightened by the reflection of his own image in the water. Finally, he threw himself in the river and drank fearlessly.

The third lesson I learned was from a little girl who was carrying a lit candle. To make conversation and to teach her something I asked her if she lit the candle by herself and if she knew where the flame came from. In response she started to laugh and put out the flame by using the palm of her hand, then she said – Sir, do you know how the flame disappeared and where it is now? I felt embarrassed and I kept thinking that we all have a sacred flame in our heart and we don’t know where it comes from.

On that day I decided to connect with life and everything that was around me including the clouds, the trees, the rivers, the woods, the men and the women. I have had thousands of teachers and I have learned how to light a flame in my heart and how to be a student in the University of Life. I have learned great lessons from simple things in life.

#connecting, #flame, #hope

ON BEING TOLERANT

The word tolerance was first used in the 15^th century and the concerted efforts of many led to the adoption of article 18 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights by the United Nations in 1948 which states – everyone has the right to freedom of thought, conscience and religion.

Helen Keller once said “The highest result of education is tolerance”. This is so true that even the spirit of democracy means liberty of choice for human beings. That’s why we can not export democracy to other countries because if the individuals have had no real education about tolerance they can never behave democraticaly within a family unit, a community or a society.

Tolerance is defined as:

• “A fair, objective, and permissive attitude toward those whose opinions, practices, race,    religion, nationality, etc., differ from one’s own’.
• “Freedom from bigotry or stubborn and complete intolerance of any creed, belief or opinion  that differs from one’s own”.
• “Understanding and recognition of rights and beliefs of others”.
• “Enduring, bearing, permitting, and supporting of those who don’t share our opinions”.
• “An attitude of mind that implies non-judgmental acceptance of different life styles or  beliefs. Toleration also implies “putting up with something that one disapproves”.

Examples of those who are not tolerant include but is not limited to the following persons, no matter which side they are coming from:

• Those who think they are on a mission to change others because they are right about everything.
• Those who think if they own a business they also own the people in it.
• Those who try to attack the character of the person who disagrees with them.
• Those who intentionally and publicly ignore and disrespect the person who does not go along with them.
• Those who have a racket and continuously complain about how wrong everybody else is.
• Those who want to prove that others are on a wrong track because it differs from theirs.
• Those who are judgmental and cannot honor the rights and opinions of others

You can add your own examples to my list in the comment section of this post.

The questions are:

1. Can we look with fresh eyes at every person we meet?
2. Can we focus on the wholeness of other face with an attitude of openness?
3. Can we listen to people with no prejudice?
4. Can we take a higher stance and uplift others instead of dismissing them?
5. Do we realize that loving others is not just a question of being nice to them and we need to communicate with specific intention and focus?

After all, this is a connected universe and cynicism does not work. We have the power to share kindness, respect, understanding and awareness with others in order to initiate creative collaborations.

#Tolerance, #Intolerance

HUMANITY: WHAT IS POWERFUL AND WHAT IS NOT

Humanity as virtue or moral excellence is defined as “a set of strength focused on tending and befriending others”. Humanitarianism is defined as “an ethic of kindness, benevolence, and sympathy extended universally and impartially to all human beings”. It is also described as “the acceptance of human being for plainly just being another human, ignoring and abolishing biased social views, prejudice and racism in the process, if utilized individually as a practiced view point, or mind set”.

The synonyms for humanity are listed as compassion, fraternity, fellow feeling, philanthropy, kindness, consideration, understanding, sympathy, tolerance, etc. The admirable qualities of human beings are mentioned as ability to be humble, selflessness, awareness of themselves, willingness to learn, ability to express happiness for others, having confidence in the face of uncertainty, honesty, unconditional empathy, knowing that they don’t know it all, having a sense of personal style, having unforced gratitude, having respect for other human beings, ability to hold great conversation, not taking stock in appearances, having admiration but not jealousy for those who are capable, having understanding even for those who act out against them.

Our identities as human beings are the results of actions we perform including what we speak which is considered our linguistic actions. Being mindful of our human qualities will allow us to become less critical and judgmental of ourselves and others, have deeper appreciation of who we are, and be less self-centered and more willing to look around and take care of others. In other words, what we think becomes a function of who we are as human beings.

Here is a set of distinctions which point at examples of what is human and powerful: 

1. Making requests for what needs to happen instead of keeping quiet with loads of expectations in our mind.
2. Accepting what we cannot change instead of becoming resigned or resentful.
3. Being mindful of the choices we make and taking responsibility for the consequences.
4. Having a sense of humor and trying to put people at ease.
5. Being open to learning and not pretending to be a “know it all” and arrogant.
6. Making grounded assessments instead of opining and gossiping.
7. Making responsible complaints instead of bitching about everything.
8. Asking questions instead of having ready-made answers for everything.
9. Sharing what we have personally witnessed instead of talking about our own stories.
10. Accepting accountability instead of blaming it on others.
11. Telling the truth instead of denial and sugar coating.
12. Being vulnerable instead of trying to control everything out of fear.

Considering the above, one can conclude that what we say or do can be powerful and a function of who we are as human beings, or it can be totally fear-based and out of dis-empowerment.

#Powerful, #Distinctions

ON BEING WOVEN

"Someone who considers separating humans is severing the heart from its ability to act compassionately".  RUMI

The way is full of genuine sacrifice.

The tickets blocking the path are anything
that keeps you from that, any fear
that you may be broken to bits like a glass bottle.
This road demands courage and stamina,
yet it's full of footprints! Who are
these companions? Use them!
With company you quicken your ascent.

You may be happy enough going along,
but with others you'll get farther, and faster.

Someone who goes cheerfully by himself
to the customs house to pay his traveler's tax
will go even more lightheartedly
when friends are with him.

Every prophet sought out companions.
A wall standing alone is useless,
but put three or four walls together,
and they'll support a roof and keep
the grain dry and safe.

When ink joins with a pen, then the blank paper
can say something. Rushes and reeds must be woven
to be useful as a mat. If they were not interlaced,
the wind would blow them away.

RUMI


#beingwoven  #RUMI

ARE YOU A SAVVY CONSUMER OF SUGAR SUBSTITUTES?

Did you know that artificial sweeteners are just one type of sugar substitutes? The other types include sugar alcohols, novel sweeteners, and natural sweeteners. Here is the information you need in order to make healthy choices in your day to day life.

I. Artificial Sweeteners

• Are synthetic sugar substitutes
• May be derived from naturally occurring substances including herbs and sugar itself
• Are known as intense sweeteners and many times sweeter than sugar
• Are not carbohydrates and have no calories
• They don't raise blood sugar levels
• Are regulated by Food and Drug Administration (FDA) as food additive

Artificial sweeteners include the following:

1. Acesulfame K (Sunett, Sweet One): is 200 times sweeter than regular sugar, is used in many food products
2. Aspartame (Equal, NutraSweet): is non-saccharide, used in foods and beverages, should be avoided by persons with genetic presence of Phenylalanine metabolites in their urine.
3. Saccharin (Sugar Twin, Sweet 'N Low): is 300 times as sweet as regular sugar, is used in food products as well as medicines and toothpastes.
4. Sucralose (Splenda): is 320 - 1000 times as sweet as regular sugar, twice as sweet as Saccharin, three times as sweet as Aspartame, is used in food products that require longer shelf life.
5. Neotame (Sucralose): 7000 - 13000 times sweeter than regular sugar, is not directly available to consumers but is used in hundreds of food product.
6. Advantame: is a high intensity sweetener, 20000 times as sweet as regular sugar, is a Japanese product, has been under research for 10 years, is for general use in food products.

II. Sugar Alcohols

• Are organic compounds that occur naturally
• Are low calorie carbohydrates
• Diabetic patients should calculate the carbohydrate amounts
• Are used in food products as thickeners and sweeteners
• Are used in combination  with high intensity artificial sweeteners
• Despite their name they are not alcohols
• Are found in processed foods and other products
• Food labels will mention the use of sugar alcohols
• Can have laxative effect
• Sugar alcohols are: Erythritol, hydrogenated starch, Hydrolysate, Isomalt, Lactitol, Maltitol, Mannitol, Sorbitol, and Xylitol.

III. Novel Sweeteners

Are combination of various types of sweeteners including:

1. Stevia: a highly refined plant extract, 300 times sweeter than sugar, has negligible effect on blood sugar
2. Tagatose: occurs naturally in some dairy products and other foods, is a low carbohydrate sweetener, foods containing Tagatose are not considered sugar-free
3. Trehalose: is found naturally in mushrooms

IV. Natural Sweeteners: 

Are considered healthier but they undergo processing as well. They include:

1. Agave Nectar: is chiefly a Mexican plant also native to the southern and western United States, has high fructose content even more than corn syrup
2. Fruit juice, nectars, honey, molasses, and maple syrup are generally considered safe by FDA
3. Date sugar: is found in natural food stores, is less processed, can be quite expensive

In brief:

1. Know that sugar substitutes are not magic bullets for weight loss
2. Be savvy consumers and read the food labels
3. Use in moderation
4. Know that sugar-free does not mean calorie-free and you can still gain weight
5. Know that processed foods often contain sugar substitutes
6. Know that whole foods such as fruits and vegetables offer the most health benefits

#Sugar-substitutes  #Healthy-choice

WHICH TRACK ARE YOU ON?!

"When we are able to  look at our lives and our worlds without fear or judgments, we realize that this dream we are dreaming - reality - can be whatever we want it to be". 

The above mentioned quote is from teachings of Don Miguel Ruiz the author of The Four Agreements who believes that fear is the source of all negative agreements we've made with life. Love is opposite of fear and before we can achieve The Mastery of Love, we must move beyond fear. We can imagine two tracks, one of love and one of fear. By comparing them, we can see which track we are on.

Love

Has no expectations

Has no obligations

Has respect for self and others

Is patient

Does not pity

Is detached

Is kind

Fear

Is filled with expectations

Is full of obligations 

(Acting from obligations brings suffering, and failing to act leads to the feeling of guilt)

Respects nothing even self

(Feeling sorry for self or others means no respect)

Is impatient

Is filled with pity especially self-pity

Is filled with attachments and dreads having to let go

Is too self-absorbed to be kind

Which track are you on?!

#fear #love #DonMiguelRuiz

LIVING IN AWE

The Concept:

If you look at something without labeling it as good or bad, you will have a sense of awe. This is how the artists feel and how Vincent Van Gogh – a post-impressionist painter felt when he painted the “chair” in 1888. His painting of chair was worth more than twenty five million dollars a few years back and probably more now.

Dictionary defines awe as “an overwhelming feeling of reverence, admiration, fear, etc. produced by that which is grand, sublime, extremely powerful, or the like”.  According to Paul Pearsall, the well-known neurobiologist and positive psychologist, awe is “an overwhelming and bewildering sense of connection with a startling universe that is usually far beyond the narrow band of our consciousness”. He refers to awe as our eleventh emotion, the other emotions being love, fear, sadness, embarrassment, curiosity, pride, enjoyment, despair, guilt, and anger. Research findings indicate that nature and art/music were frequently cited as the eliciting stimulus for positive awe, and the awe response is indeed our maximum state of full and total observation.

Paul Pearsall contends that living an awe-filled life does not mean avoiding pain; awe can be felt in the face of death as well as in watching a birth. Awe makes a difference between languishing and flourishing, by consciously engaging and reflecting on the world outside of the self. He reminds us that "We are all riding around together on one of the universe’s billion fragile, cracking, exploding, rocks, on which even our existence is statistical fluke beyond one in billions. Sucked to our gas-covered rock by an invisible force, we’re being spun around seventeen miles per second while at the same time whizzing at nineteen miles per second around a nuclear exploding fireball that, even though it’s ninety million miles away, holds our rock in its orbit with its invisible force, and, if our rock got too close, could cook us all in a nanosecond”. He asks – are you not in awe? We have indeed allowed our awe response to atrophy from disuse!

Background of unhappiness

According to Eckhart Tolle almost everyone carries in his or her energy field an accumulation of old emotional pain called pain-body. The pain-body is not just our individual pain but also includes the pain suffered by countless humans throughout the history of humanity (the collective psyche of humanity) and it is in every human DNA. Pain bodies like to both inflict and suffer pain. Examples include:

1. Falling in love or attraction of pain bodies
2. Media and human addiction to unhappiness
3. Women's collective pain bodies as they have been killed and suppressed by all cultures and religions
4. Countries and nations' collective emotional pain
5. Children's pain bodies which manifest as moodiness and is affected by parents' pain bodies

                   

It is a common wisdom that negative thoughts have lower vibrational frequency and they resonate with and feed our pain bodies. On the other hand the voice of ego constantly disrupts the natural state of our well-being with negativity and superficial labeling of everything and everyone. When we stop doing that the depth comes back to our lives and we can experience the sense of awe. In other words, we should not seek the happiness but the freedom from unhappiness which is the negative interpretation of life situations.

In brief

When we are in a negative state of mind we should remind ourselves that negativity is always ego. Once we are aware of this, our identity will shift from ego to awareness. Being aware is knowing that we are experiencing and applying our full and deepest consciousness to where, with whom, and why we are, and that’s what can inspire profound awe. We can then stop the darkness by bringing in the light of living an awe-filled life.

#Awe  #VanGogh #11thEmotion

SEVEN BEST WAYS TO COMMUNICATE AND EXPRESS YOURSELF

I usually spoke in a low voice and almost always I was asked to repeat what I had said, forcing me to get out of my comfort zone. I also had developed a sensitivity to people who raised their voices in any situation or under any circumstances. I was really surprised when I learned from a coach that my childhood experiences had something to do with this. 

As a child I felt dominated by the people around me so talking in a low voice became my way of not dominating others. In fact, this was a payoff for me at the cost of my own self-expression. A real eye opener!

One day as part of a communication training program we were asked to go out in the street and interact with complete strangers by establishing a conversation about the topic of our choice. 

For me that was the hardest part of my training and I was feeling extremely inhibited to do the assignment. However, the assignment was successfully carried out and I faced no rejection from the strangers and no difficulties to open a conversation with people whom I did not know at all. Most of all I learned that my fears had no basis and most of the limitations and anxieties I felt were self-imposed.

The training was in relation to self-expression in the context of communication, and I learned that self-expression is an intention and it involves speaking and acting together. The coach told us:

1. Express yourself in a way that frees the best in others
2. Speak clearly and loudly
3. Do not seek anyone’s approval
4. Be unafraid of being judged by others
5. Show your emotions and allow yourself to be vulnerable
6. Don’t care to be always right
7. Dare to say no, and accept no for an answer

At the end of the training we were asked by the coach to make a new declaration about who we are and he wanted us to be loud and clear and talk with conviction. It was truly an empowering and emotional experience to stand together with others and declare that – we are part of the grand design of life!

#communication #self-expression 

ONE MESSAGE

This is a presentation of three poems from my favorite poets who lived during the 12^th, 13^th, and 14^th centuries but their poems carry the same message, message of oneness and peace.

  

12^th Century

1165 – 1240

Mystic, philosopher, poet, sage Ali Ibn Arabi is one of the world’s great spiritual teachers. He was born into the Moorish culture of Andalusian Spain and died in Damascus. His poetry and extensive writings provide a beautiful exposition of the unity of Being. His wisdom has much to offer us in the modern world in terms of understanding what it means to be human.

Light of Sacredness

The inner space inside

that we call the heart

has become many different

living scenes and stories.

A pasture for sleek gazelles,

a monastery for Christian monks,

a temple with Shiva dancing

a kaaba for pilgrimage.

The tablets of Moses are there,

the Qur’an, the Vedas,

the sutras, and the gospels.

Love is the religion in me.

Whichever way love’s camel goes,

that way becomes my faith,

the source of beauty, and a light

of sacredness over everything.

13^th Century

1207 – 1273

Poet, Sufi, and mystic RUMI, known as planetary poet and the first seeker of Truth, was born in Balkh ancient Persia. According to the experts, his words carry a broad range of religious awareness - the meditative silence and no-mind of Zen, the open heart and compassion of Jesus, the stern discipline of Mohammad, the convivial humor of Taoists, the crazy wisdom and bright intelligence of the Jewish and Hassidic masters. He wrote poetry to transform his listeners and readers in order to take them out of themselves and lead them to greater awareness.

Only Breath

Not Christian or Jew or Muslim, not Hindu,
Buddhist, sufi or zen. Not any religion

or cultural system. I am not from the East
or West, not out of the ocean or up

from the ground, not natural or ethereal, not
composed of elements at all. I do not exist,

am not an entity in this world or the next,
did not descend from Adam and Eve or any

origin story. My place is place-less, a trace
of the trace-less. Neither body or soul.

I belong to the beloved, have seen the two
worlds as one and that one call to and know,

first, last, outer, inner, only that
breath breathing human being.

14^th Century

1320-1389

The beloved Persian poet, sufi master and mystic HAFIZ was born in Shiraz, Iran and was known as the tongue of the invisible. He came one hundred years after RUMI and in his poems he reveals a God that would never cripple us with guilt or control us with fear. His words are a music that comforts, empowers and enlightens. He invites you to join him in his fantastic applause of life.

I have learned

I
Have
Learned
So much from God
That I can no longer
Call
Myself

A Christian, a Hindu, a Muslim
A Buddha, a Jew

The Truth has shared so much of itself
With me

That I can no longer call myself
A man, a woman, an angel,
Or even pure soul.

Love has befriended Hafiz so completely
It had turned to ash
And freed
Me

Of every concept and image
My mind has ever known

***

#poets #oneness 

ONCE UPON A TIME, NEPAL

A Temple

Our small plane was flying over the Himalayas, and looking from the window, I was in awe while staring at the beautiful chain of mountains covered with snow against the clear blue sky. At that time I was working with the World Health Organization and I lived in Bangladesh in South Asia. I was on my way to Katmandu, Nepal which was not very far from where I was stationed.

Himalayas

The Federal Republic of Nepal is the world’s largest country by land mass, and is located in Himalayas bordered to the north by China, and to the south, east and west by India. The 27+ million population of the country are mostly Hindu and Buddhist. Nepal is separated from Bangladesh by a narrow stretch of land. The capital city and the largest city of Nepal is Katmandu. The country’s agriculture sector employs about 76% of the workforce.

The Watching Eyes

People love to visit Nepal for its natural beauty and for being almost like a mystical place but they also go there for mountain climbing especially if they are professional mountaineers. The mountains north of Nepal have eight of the world’s ten tallest mountains, including the highest point of Earth, Mount Everest.

 

A beautiful scenery in Katmandu

My whole experience of being in Nepal felt like a dream especially when I took a tour to see the surrounding skirts of mountains. The air was fresh and cool and I felt I have stepped into a new planet. I saw local women and children in colorful cloths waiting around and talking with each other. When I asked the tour guide about them he said that many of them are relatives of Sherpas who guide the mountaineers.

Sherpas are an ethnic group from the most mountainous region of Nepal in the Himalayas who are regarded as elite mountaineers and expert in their local terrain. In April 2014 the avalanche of massive chunks of ice and snow killed 16 Nepalese guides, mostly Sherpas. There are reports that many Sherpa climbing guides have left their jobs because of frequent deaths and injuries.

Colorful Spices

I experienced Nepal as a beautiful and colorful country with an spectacular landscape. The diverse and exotic cultures of Nepal attract a lot of tourists. The people of Nepal are extremely kind, serene and helpful in spite of the hardship and apparent poverty. I never forget the view of Himalayas and the country’s beautiful sceneries and temples.

In Katmandu

#Himalayas #Nepal #Katmandu

CHOOSING TO ENJOY LIFE

We are all observers and we do not know how things really are, we only know how we observe them or interpret them to be. Each human being experiences the world from a unique perspective and is a certain observer of the world. However, changes in life can shift the observer that we are, and can help us gain new insights. If we were able to observe ourselves from outside we could see how we create our own realities.

Let’s explore this together:

1. We all have a cognitive blindness which means we don’t know what we don’t know and once we accept that, we will be more open to learning and increasing our personal effectiveness.

2. We constantly judge others based on our beliefs, feelings, emotions and moods. Judging as such prevents learning and the person who is being judged will gradually disappear from our sight. In the meantime, we isolate ourselves too.

3. Sometimes what we say is not the real reason for what we claim it to be. The real reason is the choices we have made but we are not conscious about or present to our choices. We have the habit of blaming it on other people or other things.

4. Humans are linguistic beings and language is generative not merely descriptive. According to the experts, language is action and to speak is to act, it is a representational system of the unconscious. The five linguistic acts are - (1) assertion (2) declaration (these two set the context for actions to follow) (3) request (4) offer (5) promise (these three are the generative part of language and they produce results). True leaders solicit promise and make requests. They are good at enrolling others because they are seen as possibility. The question each one of us has to ask ourselves is – how effective is my language?

5. According to behavioral experts, being aware of our emotions and feelings, play an important role in our ability to control our own behavior. Examples of emotions and feelings are – being sad, happy, eager, hurt, angry, fearful, doubtful, affectionate, afraid, etc. When feelings remain at an unconscious level they can take control of our behavior which can lead to acting-out. Examples of acting-out are – eating when anxious, yelling at a child when we have had a bad day, getting drunk, forgetfulness, etc.  At some point the mind can direct the emotions back in the body and the person can develop psycho-somatic diseases. At the pathological level a person can show criminal behaviors. The feeling remained at an unconscious level can also lead to direct or indirect expression of emotions such as criticism, loaded questions, accusations, name-calling and judgments. In such situations the best thing to do is not to get defensive or counterattack. Staying in touch with our emotions and feelings and bringing them to our conscious level prevents acting-out and destructive behavior.

6. It is commonly believed that emotions reflect intentions and we have the power to choose our intentions. Intentions of love expand the loving part of our personality but if we yield to fear and negative emotions we lose power.

In brief, we can start by trying to stay conscious and centered and by doing that; learn to appreciate even the difficult experiences of our life. As a result our happiness will not be conditional to outside world or to our own preferences, and we can choose to enjoy our life as best as we can.

#observer, #intentions, #acting-out, #enjoying, #choice, #judgment

TRUST IS A DECLARATION!

Trust is a social construct which is defined as “reliance on the integrity, strength, and ability of person to do what is expected”.  In sociology and psychology the degree of trust is a measure of belief in the authenticity, fairness and good will of the other. According to psychologists basic trust occurs during the first two years of life, and failure leads towards an orientation of insecurity and mistrust.

Trust in ontological terms is a declaration and a positive assessment about sincerity, competence, and reliability in some domain of action. Thus, if we want to risk trust we should increase our capacity for well grounded assessment.

The root of the word assessment is from the Latin “assidere” which means “to sit beside”. Assessment is grounded when the personal opinion of the person who is making the assessment is evidence-based and provides the standards against which the evidence is compared. The ungrounded assessment is when we bring up some opinion based on no evidence or valid criteria. Assessments are an inescapable and important part of our lives, and we become more effective in life by making more grounded assessments. We should also realize that assessments are just assessments and not “the truth”.

All human actions take place out of some mood or emotion. Moods are pervasive and are basically in the background. They shape our emotions and the way we act or speak.

Assessment is usually done in one of the following moods:

Naive: innocent, childlike

 Distrustful: staying away, lonely

 Skeptical: prove it over and over, mood of business

Prudent: wise and judicial: power of leaders reside here

True leaders are prudent and have the capacity to make grounded assessments. They are aware that ungrounded assessment does not serve the purpose, and being trustworthy based on valid criteria is the only sure way to maintain a trust level.

#trust, #grounded assessment, #moods, #declaration 

HAPPY NOROOZ AND SPRING CELEBRATIONS

March 20^th of 2014 is the first day of spring which marks the Persian New Year. It is also called NOROOZ which means “a new day” in Persian language. At this time families gather around a traditional table setting called Haft-Seen to observe the rituals of spring season which is celebrated in many countries.

At the spring Equinox, when the sun is at zenith over the Equator, days are close to 12 hours long and get longer as the season progresses. Spring and “springtime” refer to the season and also to the ideas of rebirth, rejuvenation, renewal, and growth.

The last Wednesday evening of the year is called Wednesday Light when bonfires are lit and people jump over the fire saying a purification rite. This is an ancient Persian-Festival dating back to 1700 BCE.

Wednesday Fire Jumping

The traditional table setting called Haft-Seen in Persian language means seven items that their name starts with the letter “S”. Every item has a significance of its own symbolizing something very special. The items are found on every traditional Haft-Seen table around the world. The items and their significance are listed below, and as you can see there are more than seven items in my list but we should not have less than that.

1.      Sabzeh meaning sprouts of lentil, wheat or combination of other kind of seeds that we can grow in a dish. sprouts represent rebirth.

 2.      Seeb meaning apple which symbolizes health and beauty

3.      Senjet which is the dry fruit of Lotus tree and symbolizes love

4.      Seer meaning garlic which symbolizes medicine

5.      Sumac berries which symbolize sunrise

6.      Samanoo which is a wheat germ pudding and it symbolizes new life.

7.      Sekkeh meaning coin which symbolizes affluence

8.      Serkeh meaning vinegar which symbolizes age and patience

9.      Hyacinth flower which symbolizes constancy

10.   Gold fish swimming in water symbolizing life.

11.  Painted Eggs which represent spring celebration

12.  Mirror which symbolizes the sky and light.

13.  Candles which symbolize fire

14. Cookies which symbolize sweetness of life

We can have other decorative items such as all kinds of beautiful flowers or anything that adds to the beauty of the table. The traditional food of New Year’s Day is a special kind of vegetable rice and white fish.