CHOOSING TO ENJOY LIFE

We are all observers and we do not know how things really are, we only know how we observe them or interpret them to be. Each human being experiences the world from a unique perspective and is a certain observer of the world. However, changes in life can shift the observer that we are, and can help us gain new insights. If we were able to observe ourselves from outside we could see how we create our own realities.

Let’s explore this together:

1. We all have a cognitive blindness which means we don’t know what we don’t know and once we accept that, we will be more open to learning and increasing our personal effectiveness.

2. We constantly judge others based on our beliefs, feelings, emotions and moods. Judging as such prevents learning and the person who is being judged will gradually disappear from our sight. In the meantime, we isolate ourselves too.

3. Sometimes what we say is not the real reason for what we claim it to be. The real reason is the choices we have made but we are not conscious about or present to our choices. We have the habit of blaming it on other people or other things.

4. Humans are linguistic beings and language is generative not merely descriptive. According to the experts, language is action and to speak is to act, it is a representational system of the unconscious. The five linguistic acts are - (1) assertion (2) declaration (these two set the context for actions to follow) (3) request (4) offer (5) promise (these three are the generative part of language and they produce results). True leaders solicit promise and make requests. They are good at enrolling others because they are seen as possibility. The question each one of us has to ask ourselves is – how effective is my language?

5. According to behavioral experts, being aware of our emotions and feelings, play an important role in our ability to control our own behavior. Examples of emotions and feelings are – being sad, happy, eager, hurt, angry, fearful, doubtful, affectionate, afraid, etc. When feelings remain at an unconscious level they can take control of our behavior which can lead to acting-out. Examples of acting-out are – eating when anxious, yelling at a child when we have had a bad day, getting drunk, forgetfulness, etc.  At some point the mind can direct the emotions back in the body and the person can develop psycho-somatic diseases. At the pathological level a person can show criminal behaviors. The feeling remained at an unconscious level can also lead to direct or indirect expression of emotions such as criticism, loaded questions, accusations, name-calling and judgments. In such situations the best thing to do is not to get defensive or counterattack. Staying in touch with our emotions and feelings and bringing them to our conscious level prevents acting-out and destructive behavior.

6. It is commonly believed that emotions reflect intentions and we have the power to choose our intentions. Intentions of love expand the loving part of our personality but if we yield to fear and negative emotions we lose power.

In brief, we can start by trying to stay conscious and centered and by doing that; learn to appreciate even the difficult experiences of our life. As a result our happiness will not be conditional to outside world or to our own preferences, and we can choose to enjoy our life as best as we can.

#observer, #intentions, #acting-out, #enjoying, #choice, #judgment