My Life in Short Stories: 1. The Beginning

Tehran, Iran
1961

It was a beautiful spring day in Tehran. I was seventeen years old and in the last few weeks of my high school education. We were in recess and I was walking with my friends around the campus.

In  High School

I suddenly noticed that the school guard is approaching us and when he got closer he called me by name and said: You have a visitor. A lady is here to see you.

I looked from a distance to see who that person is and I saw a lady holding the hand of a little girl and waiting. I did not recognize the person but I approached her and introduced myself.

She came one step closer to me and I noticed that she has tears in her eyes. She almost whispered: I am your real mother and she, referring to the small girl standing beside her, is your little sister.

My Mother

I was speechless and almost in shock and disbelief. She had a very kind face but looked very tired and suddenly started to cry. I tried to get closer to her in order to comfort her and I heard her saying that she has suffered all these years because she was forced to stay away from her children, meaning me and my two brothers.

While she was talking the bell rang indicating that the recess is over and I have to go back to the class room. She hurriedly gave me her phone number, we hugged and I left.

The rest of the day I was distracted and anxious. I tried to imagine what it meant to have a mother of my own and how it was going to affect my life. At the same time I was questioning it: why so late?

My Parents and my Eldest Brother

I was born to a middle class military family in Tehran and I have two older brothers from the same parents, one four years and the other two years older than myself. You can see our picture here the only one taken from the three of us when I was two or three years old.

Me and my Brothers

Around the same time when the picture was taken my parents divorced and later each got married. Based on the laws of the land my father, being the man, got the custody of the three of us, and soon after he decided that we should not see our mother any more but we must adopt our step mother instead.

In time four more children were added to the family and we were raised under the rigid discipline of my father and an abusive step mother. As I grew up I learned that my step mother had a tough childhood herself and had suffered the loss of her twin babies in her first marriage at a very young age. I also learned that our father had been placed in a military school at the age of five and had endured tremendous hardship himself. I often comforted myself by thinking that these are the reasons for their behavior and felt sorry for them.

Being the only girl in the house, I was the unpaid maid doing almost all the chores including cooking, washing, and cleaning of the house with no appreciation or acknowledgement from others.

My older brothers found a job and left the house one by one at the age of seventeen or eighteen. I was waiting for and dreaming of doing the same thing when the time was right.

All these years we had not seen our mother but we had heard good things about her from my father’s family members. Apparently my father’s extreme popularity with women had put their marriage at risk. We were told by the family that we should never talk about these issues at home and we must keep it a secret.

One day when I came home from the school my father and my step mother confronted me and told me that they know about my encounter with my mother and they want me to stop seeing her or leave the house. First I denied it but then I realized that they have opened my mail and read the letter sent to me by my best friend who had expressed her happiness for me and my Mother.

My Aunt Dr. F. Parsay and  her Husband

I went out and called my Aunt (my Dad’s sister) from a public telephone and told her what has happened. My aunt was a medical doctor and an educator by profession. I loved her and looked at her as my mother and my role model. She later on became the first woman minister of education in Iran. She was loved and respected by every one in the family including my father and my uncles. When she heard my story she told me to pack a suitcase, catch a taxi, and go to her house right away. I did that and my life changed for ever.

That whole summer my aunt and her family supported me and helped me to attend the English language classes of Iran America Society in Tehran. As a result I was able to pass the test and to get a scholarship from the Ministry of Health to go to the American University of Beirut and to study nursing. I had to come back and serve the country in return for my education.


To be continued….

Ponder On These II

"Of all things in the world nothing is softer than water, and yet it wears away the hardest rocks. Furthermore, water is humble; it always seeks the low level, which men abhor. But yet, water finally overcomes every thing".

"You teach best what you most need to learn". 

"Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they’re yours". 

"The mask of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly".

"A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world. Everyone you meet is your mirror".

"Happiness happens when your consciousness is not dominated by addictions and demands and you experience life as a parade of preferences".

"Every person who awakens and sees the goal of life goes through the growing pains of wanting to save humanity instead of first saving himself"!

"As your consciousness expands you cease being critical and intolerant, because you rise above all those foolish, petty human irritations into the realm of peace and harmony".

"Love does not seek to hold, but to give".

"The old saw that we can only see someone’s fault because it is also our own still holds truth".

"The long journey continues, but I have learned to relax in the present, knowing that whatever comes is part of my ongoing, to be welcomed, learned from, and enjoyed. And the paradoxes continue to provide the spice".

"If a man seeks the good life for any reason outside itself, it is not the good life that he seeks".

"Don’t limit a child to your own learning, for he was born in another time".

"Relationship is a mirror in which I can see myself".

"A newly married couple said, “What shall we do to make our love endure?”

Said the Master: “Love other things together”.

"Each time you cling to something to stop yourself from falling, understand that it is falling too".

"The ways for gauging one’s spiritual strength is to find out how often you become disturbed in the course of a single day".

"Anything longed for in this world has two sides, and to ask for one is to demand the other as well".

"To care,

to be fair,

to be humble.

When a man cares he is unafraid,

When he is fair he leaves enough for others,

When he is humble he can grow".

"Loneliness is not only positively characterized by a certain degree of isolation, but is negatively characterized by a deficiency of participation".

"Anger in any form is a cry for help".

"To hide anything is to keep it. And tight is the grip of guilt".

"A rainbow is a promise".

*Selection of quotations from the books I read in the period of February 1989 – May 1990.

There Is No Cure For The Facts Of Life!

I love Los Angeles. I’ve lived and worked there since I stepped foot in the United States and I consider it my home. I love the weather, I cherish the family and friends that I have, and I appreciate the large Persian community that live there.

As a career woman I worked in LA for more than a decade but I lost my job in August of 2011 and soon came to the heartbreaking conclusion that I can’t continue living there any more. Since then I’ve kept hope alive that I can remove or overcome all the different obstacles that have come my way but eventually, reality sank in.

Throughout this time of turmoil and trying to find ways to stay in LA, I visited my son in Louisiana and my daughter in Phoenix. In mid-April I left Phoenix for LA for a final attempt to weigh my options and see what’s possible there. Before long I realized that I simply can’t sustain a life there any more and that I need to surrender to what is as opposed to focusing on how things should be. Instead of expending so much energy resisting leaving LA, I thought it best to redirect this energy towards embracing what is and allowing room for it to be. From this energetic place, I would have more peace, providing a space for better things to happen as, and when they should.

This then became my new challenge and an opportunity for me to explore all the places where I cling or refuse to change. My goal became to gain the strength and have the courage to meet the challenge and to step right through it.

Making the final decision to leave LA was quite an emotional experience for me. While I was having a good time sight seeing and visiting friends and family members during this trip, I was well aware that I would soon leave and relocate to another state that I now would call home. It was quite a humbling experience for me to go through the motions every day without letting my sadness overshadow every experience. I had to consciously remain grateful for what was left of my time there and open my heart to the upcoming changes and possibilities.

Coming to terms with what relocation meant hasn’t been easy but I finally decided to move to Arizona with an open heart and to say farewell to the city that I love and cherish. It was very hard for me to leave LA on the day of my departure, but not as hard as keeping up with the hardships I would face and endure if I wanted to continue living there.

As said by one of the spiritual teachers: “There is no cure for the facts of life”. 

With this small piece of valuable wisdom, I will embrace each day with acceptance; gratitude and an open heart.

Who Are You That Your Future Is?!

One of the many opportunities I enjoy and cherish here in America is the availability of, and access to Ontological Design training. The education provided is experiential in nature and empowers you to take a deeper look at yourself and at the way you show up in life.

In the 90’s when I was exposed to this type of training I discovered that while on the academic and professional front I could navigate my way, on the ontological and self-expression front I could use some help.

For example, I always spoke in a low voice and that was my comfort zone.  To my surprise I learned that having been raised by domineering and aggressive parents; I developed a sensitivity to anything that resembled that, including raised voices! Therefore, talking in a low voice was my way of not dominating others, and this was a pay off for me at the cost of my own self-expression.  A real eye opener for me.

In another session of training one of our exercises was to interact with complete strangers and establish a conversation and a connection about the topic of our choice. In doing this exercise we realized what we were capable of. The exercise also helped us to acknowledge that our fears have no basis and in fact most of the limitations we felt were self-imposed.

At the conclusion of training we each were asked by the coach to stand up and make a declaration about our self-worth, in front of the class and to the whole world.  We were expected to speak loud and clear, and with 100% conviction.  It was empowering and truly an emotional experience to watch and to hear the declaration of each person including myself saying: I am part of the grand design of life!

The main principles of the teachings are:

1. Self-expression is an intention and involves speaking and acting together.
2. We should express ourselves in a way that frees the best in others.

• Speak clearly and loudly
• Don’t seek approval
• Be unafraid of being judged by others
• Show your emotions
• Allow yourself to be vulnerable
• Don’t care to be always right
• Dare to say no, and, accept no for an answer

I wish trainings of this nature were mandatory in the formal education system to enable people to have self-awareness, to practice more empathy for themselves and others, and to become empowered in creating a better future.

HAPPY NOUROOZ 2012

Nourooz means a new day in Persian language and marks the first day of spring or the beginning of the Persian New Year.  On March 19, 2012 at 10:15 pm Pacific Time all families who celebrate Nourooz come together and sit around a traditional table setting called “Haft-Sin” to observe the rituals of spring celebration.

Haft-Sin Table Setting

On almost every Haft-Sin table setting you can find Lentil Sprouts (can also be Wheat or Barley sprouts) growing in a dish, symbolizing rebirth.  Other items on the table each symbolize a concept indicating the wish for wellness, happiness and prosperity in the coming New Year.

Lentil sprouts on my Haft-Sin table setting symbolizing rebirth

Nourooz is celebrated in several countries around the world, and by many ethnic and religious groups. 

According to Wikipedia the first day of spring falls on the March equinox when the night and day have approximately equal length.

Nourooz is officially registered on The UNESCO List of The Intangible Cultural Heritage of Humanity.

The United Nation has recognized Nourooz as an international day.

Happy New Year to all who observe and celebrate Nourooz.

FEBRUALIA!

I have learned that February is named after Februalia, the Roman festival of purification.  According to the Encyclopedia Britannica, and Etymology Dictionary February is the last month of the ancient (Pre – 450 B.C.E.) Roman calendar, and the second month of the Gregorian calendar.

February ended a few days ago and I noticed that I have traveled during the whole month, on a full circle route, having no idea that I am actually on a journey of purification.

***

(1) I started with an intense clearing of emotions while attending an appeal hearing in Los Angeles, CA on February the 7^th.

(2) I had a lunch gathering with my soul friends in Los Angeles, CA on February the 18^th where Mahrokh inspired us by sharing the following excerpts from the book – Something More by Sara Ban Breathnach:

"People are either resigned and live in quiet desperation,or are exhausted and exist in restless agitation.

The resigned believe that everything is out of our control.  The restless sense that there’s got to be Something More to why we are here.

I wish I’d known that I’d been born to take on the world; I wouldn't have run from it for so long, but run to it with open arms. 

Flash forward nearly five decades later, the steely stubbornness has become spiritual moxie; all tension is gone; the burden of the assignments my soul chose to tackle in this life time has been lifted; I have learned my lessons well”.

(3) I attended a retreat in Baton Rouge, LA where we learned about identifying and acknowledging our emotional boulders,and healing and dissolving them in order to improve and facilitate the flow of energy in our bodies.  Our coach was Jeff who had come there all the way from New York and he was great.

(4) I also spent time with my son Brad who has always been an inspiration and support in my awareness journey.  His cat Strudel is a delight and we had a lot of fun hanging out with her.

(5) Full Circle

On March the 7^th. I left Baton Rouge, Louisiana for Phoenix, Arizona where my daughter Lily lives.  I started my journey in Phoenix and closed the circle by returning there.

Lily is the joy of the family and is the hero of her life.  She experienced the pain of separation from the family, friends, and country at a very young age, nevertheless, she has remained grounded at all times.  She takes care of a dog and two cats, and she is busy with her job and her volunteer work.

Leaving Baton Rouge for Phoenix 

I loved my Februalia journey! 

Thinking in Mythological Terms

As a child I enjoyed listening to mythological stories usually concerning the life of a hero or some heroic events.  My fascination with mythology continued throughout my life and intensified when I watched the TV interviews (6 video series) of the American mythologist Joseph Campbell (1904-1987).  The series is called “The Power of Myth” and he discusses the rituals as well as the messages of myth stories.

Myth by definition is “a traditional or legendary story, usually concerning some being or hero or event with or without a determinable basis of fact or a natural explanation, especially one that is concerned with deities or demigods and explains some practice, rite, or phenomenon of nature”.

According to Campbell the role of myth is to bring us to a different level of consciousness as it describes the hero’s adventures.  In fact myths and dreams come from the same place. 

Thinking in mythological terms is saying yes to the adventure of life.  It is being a maverick and going for the difficult.  The message is – don’t say no to life, it’s great just the way it is.  It is the manifestation of divinity, seeing the creator in creation, the divine presence.

Myths are stories of seeking those experiences of being alive and seeing life as a poem -that’s what mythology does for you.  In those stories animals are other human beings and are considered superior.  Caves with drawing of animals show how to hunt and how to respect animals. The rituals are about giving thanks to animals, not to God but to animals.  Rituals are enactment of the myths and good rituals give experiences of mythological lives.

In myth stories man belongs to Earth not Earth to man.  In 1852 a Red Indian Chief said "Earth is sacred, how can you buy the sacred Earth, have a sacred corner for yourself!"

Women are seen as regenerators and motherhood as a sacrifice.  Marriage is an ordeal of sacrificing the ego for the relationship.

You as you know yourself are not the final term of your being.  You must die to that, giving yourself in order to come back as real.  If you keep saying “I have never done the things I wanted to do” it means that you did not follow your bliss.  Bliss is the hubble of the wheel not the things around it.

Each incarnation has a potentiality, and the purpose of life is meeting that.  So follow your bliss.  Find that burning thing in you, the fearlessness, the perfect courage, and the revelation will follow.

Star wars is a myth of today, the future myth is the planet and the people in it not the country.