THE OTHER IN ME!

It is one thing to process unpleasant memories, but it is an entirely different matter to confront the inner void. 

Carl Jung the Swiss psychologist believed that the human psyche is a self-regulating system that maintains its equilibrium just as the body does. He declared "the components of the psyche have contradictory behaviors and the reconciliation of these opposites is a major problem, thus, the adversary in me is none other than the other in me!"

Scientists agree that each individual has a system of inner parts or several selves with different levels of maturity, excitability, wisdom and pain. According to modern neuroscience mind can be looked at as a society and self is not necessarily a unified being. Michael Gazzaniga who pioneered Split Brain research and wrote the book "Social Brain" has said "there may exist within us several realms of consciousness and there are literally several selves that do not converse with each other internally."

The MIT scientist Marvin Minsky a pioneer of artificial intelligence (AI) declared "it makes sense to think there exists inside your brain a society of different minds like members of a family. Therapists who are trained to see people as complex human beings can help them explore their system of inner parts and take care of the wounded facets of themselves."

Richard Schwartz the developer of internal family systems therapy (IFS) said "the parts or selves have their own history, abilities, needs and world views but the psychological trauma in life can hijack them out of their natural state."

Based on the available literature any psychological trauma can lead to humiliation which, in turn, results in the development of defensive habits and negative behaviors. The defensive habits range from being furious to seeking power, panic attacks, repression, obsession, compulsion and self-destructive actions which will be exhibited by the parts in us. The behaviors will continue until we go through a healing process in relation to the traumas we have endured which should help us feel safe and integrated again. In the meantime, the price we pay is absence of a loving relationship with ourselves.

To identify and revisit the parts of ourselves that are engaged in defensive habits we need to get help from professional therapists. We also need to understand that the parts in us are stuck with burdens of the past memories and they need help with the whole process of addressing the underlying issues. The role of the therapist is collaborative and is to make sure that all parts are welcome no matter how destructive they may be.

The scientists have also concluded that a mindful self-leadership is the foundation for healing because mindfulness increases the activation of the medial prefrontal cortex or the rational brain which has control over our emotions and impulses. In other words, in trauma the balance between the rational and emotional brain is disturbed and mindfulness decreases the activation of Amygdala or the emotional brain by increasing the activation of rational brain.

In IFS model the therapist encourages the clients to identify the parts in themselves and to unblend them from the self. These cycles will come to an end when the self takes charge and starts to own her/his impulses. That is when the system feels safe again. 

#Defensivehabits