HOW TO STAND IN YOUR POSSIBILITY

It was the first day of our training program and we were all waiting for the coach to arrive and start teaching. The participants were professionals from all walks of life and it was the peak of popularity of Ontological Design and Experiential Learning workshops which created awareness about new ways of being and showing up in life.

I never forget that day because when the coach arrived he went directly to the white board and wrote: WHY ARE YOU HERE?! The whole class was staring at him and we were all speechless as if we needed more explanation. After a few minutes of silence he asked the class to stand up one by one and to respond to his question starting with the front row. We were about twenty or twenty five participants and our answers to his question were more or less the same thing, ranging from wanting to improve our life, to perform better, to succeed, etc. When we each delivered our response he would ask us to sit down and he would continue with the next person. At the end of this exercise we realized that he has not been happy with any of our answers.

While we were trying to cope with our anxiety and disappointment in ourselves he came a bit closer to us and said: THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION IS VERY SIMPLE. YOU ARE HERE BECAUSE YOU WANT TO BE HERE. IT IS YOUR CHOICE TO BE HERE. AS SIMPLE AS THAT!

I was in awe because nobody had thought about that. It was about the importance of the choices we make and the stand that we take with our words. He then wrote on the white board: MY LIFE IS MY CHOICE BECAUSE, I AM THAT EVERYTHING ELSE IS!

That was the start of an exciting and dynamic training program about standing in our possibility vs. clinging to our stories and fears.

Here is the essence of the lessons learned:

1. We usually think of possibility as options but it also means a state of being, a context for something to be created and a domain in which new options become possible. I can be a story about my fears and doubts or be a possibility that I stand for. Living out of possibility gives me access to the extraordinary.

2. What I see as possible or as achievable determine how I think, manage, talk and act. I should be able to distinguish Being from the action of thinking. This is the distinction between what I think and who I am. That is when the Being takes over.

3. Possibility is a declaration and my words create reality when I speak it. The confidence comes from what I am standing for, which is making a difference in other people’s life. My declaration and words can also free the best in others.

4. If I have fear it is because I am thinking about a story, something that happened in the past. If I keep saying that “this will not work out” then I bring it to myself and I let my future be determined by my past. I should give up the fear in order to be my possibility. I should constantly ask myself - what do I stand for.

5. Possibility involves others, it is not personal and it includes everyone else. The question is who I have been being in my community. Have I been resigned or in action. I should confront my cynicism and resignation and give those up to become enrolling. I should be able to find out how I have been stopping myself and how I can teach myself to fly. I should invent other possible ways to be.

6. When I am enrolled in my possibility there is compassion for self and others, there is effective listening and hearing the concerns of the members of the community. I cultivate authenticity and openness and people feel that they are being taken care of; otherwise, there will be boredom and nervousness which will stop my self-expression and my meaningful efforts.

I would like to briefly add here that I personally chose to stand in the possibility of Vitality and Self-Expression which was the challenge I needed in order to get out of my comfort zone. Given the socio-cultural background where I came from, this was not an easy task to do but my stand and my declaration enabled me to stop shying away from people, to live my life fully, and to impact other people’s life in a big way. In other words, I learned to fully and authentically express myself in a way that forwarded the freedom and self-expression of others.

To be continued.....