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To begin with I learned to detach my self-worth from the
opinion and approval of others and I stopped looking for their hard to get
attention or love. This was a huge realization for me because as a child and
while growing up, I had learned to do the opposite.
I learned to protect my boundaries by having my own standards
and by letting go of any type of blame. This helped me get rid of my
defensive attitude, which was ready to pop up, every single time I was
criticized.
I learned to deal with my fear of disapproval, and I opened
the channels for my authentic self-expression. As a result, I stopped
alienating myself and I started to connect with others around me and feel the impact of belonging.
I learned to let go of perfectionism in me and to start loving
myself as the imperfect person that I was. How could I love other people if I
did not have self-love and self-compassion as pre-requisites? My joy from this realization is immeasurable.
I gained the courage to face and to own my vulnerabilities
and to talk about it with my loved ones and others. This deepened my sense of
clarity about who I am and what I need to do in order to gain resilience. I come from a culture that people rarely share or talk about themselves, their fear being that they will be wrongly judged.
Here I am now, getting grounded in an inner life that is
growing in richness and in providing the freedom of mind that I need. I owe everything
to my teachers, present and past, and from whom I learned either in person or by reading their writings.
The year 2013 is coming to an end but my
journey on this path is only beginning. I have gratitude for life and for being able to see myself and
others only through the mirroring eyes of love and compassion.
To be continued….
